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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26386603">America’s Road trip!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ewq1111/pseuds/Ewq1111'>Ewq1111</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aliens, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurricanes, Literary References &amp; Allusions, Manga &amp; Anime, Melanie Martinez References, Please Don't Hate Me, Road Trips, Satire, United States</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:16:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,070</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26386603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ewq1111/pseuds/Ewq1111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>America and his states are ready to embark on the greatest road trip of their lives! We will see excitement, romance, and even aliens. Will this trip become a success in Alfred’s eyes? Will Alexander get his friend a souvenir? Will someone help California’s government? Find out in this exciting piece of Americana!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>America &amp; USA States (Hetalia), America (Hetalia) &amp; Original Character(s), America/Female Russia (Hetalia), America/Russia (Hetalia), America/USA States (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An image of a family, a broken down RV, with the sun rising in the Grand Canyon, the father watches as his family eat burgers and enjoy the sun rise. With the father smiling “Now that’s what I call, A Family Roadtrip!!” The man said on the tv. Then after that, the credits rolled, the states got up and stretched as some of them got bowls and soda cans. “Man that was cheesy.” Said Texas.</p><p>“Yeah, can’t believe Selina came up with that.” Georgia said.</p><p>“Damn it! I didn’t make the movie.” Answered California. “Beside, some of the scenes were shot in Georgia.</p><p>“Like I had any knowledge of this.”</p><p>“I kinda liked it.” Said Utah.</p><p>“Yeah, cause you like anything that is boring.” Said Montana.</p><p>“Hey! Leave John alone.” Colorado shot back. </p><p>“Yeah,” Arizona joined in. “Only we can make fun of him.”</p><p>“Guys.” Utah answered.</p><p>“Ehh, not enough guns.” Wyoming sigh.</p><p>“Still it was kinda enjoyable.” Wisconsin said. </p><p>“Thank you for the snacks by the way.” Alexander said.</p><p>“Oh it was no problem. I’m glad you liked them.”</p><p>“Well it’s getting late guys, gonna hit the sack.” Cali said. </p><p>“Yeah good night.” New York said.</p><p>“Night ya’ll.” Texas spoke.</p><p>“Good night everyone!” America yelled. As soon as everyone went to bed, Alfred went to say goodnight to everyone. It was rare when the states would all come hang out, they only had weeks for them to come by and stay then they were back at work. Alfred went to the last door and saw his son, Alexander Jones, looking at the phone. He turned to see his father and Alfred spoke.<br/>
“Good night dude, don’t stay up too late.”</p><p>“I won’t папа. Goodnight.” He said. Alfred was surprised at how much his son had grown over the years. The boy was a spitting image of him, albeit with Russia’s hair color and no glasses. He was already the height of a teenager and with his planet doing much better, he couldn’t be happier. When Alfred closed the door, Alexander turned on his phone and saw the text Lichtenstein sent him. He smiled back.</p><p>America returned to his room and saw Russia reading a book. He brushed his teeth, put his glasses away, and went to bed. Still, a thought rang in his mind. The states only see each other once a month, holidays, and events. And Alexander is still a teenager, so he needs to hang out with people and family. But watching that movie made Alfred get a devilish idea. Anya saw her husband and turned to him with a huge smile. </p><p>“Alfred?” Anya said. “Is everything alright?”</p><p>“Anya, I know what we are doing this summer.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Selina-California<br/>John- Utah<br/>Abigail- Georgia<br/>Hank- Texas<br/>Miguel- Arizona<br/>Kenny- Colorado<br/>Antonio- New York<br/>Bonnie- Wisconsin<br/>Gary- Montana<br/>Mark-Wyoming</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Twas the first morning of summer, and all through the house not a state or nation was stirring. Not even a mouse. That is, until a loud *HOOOOONNNNKKKK* woke the guest. Everyone got up and saw a large bus park in the driveway. Everyone was confused until they saw a blond exit out of the vehicle. “Hey dudes!” Alfred screamed.</p><p>The states got out of the house and expected the bus, confused by their father’s decision. “Alfred,” Anya said. “Why do you have a giant bus?”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you asked Anya, because I had an exciting idea last night! You see it came to me when we all watched that movie, an exciting, totally awesome, all American, road trip. With everyone!” Anya and Alexander stood there. Cali looked up and said.</p><p>“Dad, you cannot be serious.”</p><p>“No dude, this is the best part.” He went inside the bus and gave them the tour. Inside was huge, there were enough seats for everyone, a dining table, and a fridge with a sink next to it. Across from it was a coffee maker, a waffle maker, and a rice cooker. The storage had individual compartments with the states’ name.  </p><p>“This place is like a moving house. Plus, when you guys get tired the seats fold into beds, and the charging station is right right so you could, and showers and toilet, right next to the kitchen.” </p><p>“How much did all this cost?!” Anya spoke.</p><p>“To build?” Alfred said.</p><p>“To buil-Wait you mean you built all this by yourself in one day?”</p><p>“Hard to believe, but that’s American engineering!” </p><p>“Is this even stable?” Virginia asked. America punched the side of the bus, not even a dent.</p><p>“Any questions?” Virginia shut up after that. </p><p>“So I have a question,” Nebraska asked. “What do you hope to accomplish with this trip?”</p><p>“Simple!” Alfred’s eyes shined like stars as he yelled. “First, we’ll travel to every state across the nation for a month, we will take pictures and pose at different state signs and attraction, meet interesting and quirky people along the way, stay at a dark and creepy motel and even get chased by an angry biker gang, then the bus will break down at the Grand Canyon or or somewhere near the mountains and I’ll be all hopeless and given up, but Xander will give a heart filled speech and say why we shouldn’t give up cause we still have a road trip to make. I’ll be so fired up with energy, leading me to fix the bus but then all out friends we’ve made will help us get to our destination, just in time for my birthday. And that’s what I call, THE SUPER AWESOME, ALL AMERICAN ROAD TRIP!!!”</p><p>Everyone stared at America and felt like this was a joke. Then, Illinois spoke. “A month father? Are you sure we can last that long?”</p><p>“Sure, it has enough qualities and acts like an actual home. If you guys can’t take a vacation, you can work from home. This trip is to help us all bond, we only see each other for two or one months, I want us to have a memory that we can all remember together. With all of us. This trip will strengthen us as a family, so what do you say? Want to join the great American vacation of a lifetime?!”</p><p>Everyone stood quiet, not a single person spoke until. “I kinda like it.” Alexander said. “It sounds cool. We haven’t done anything together lately.”</p><p>“You know now that I think of it, we haven’t done anything together.” Utah added.</p><p>“Yeah,” Nevada contributed. “The last I remember we were together is when we tried to save dad from Russia.”</p><p>“What?” Alexander said.</p><p>“Long story.” Alaska said. “Although it would sound nice to see the rest of the country.”</p><p>“Yeah!” Florida said. “You’re gonna love my state!”</p><p>“No way! I have the best places!” New York rebutted.</p><p>“Guys, guys! Lets not fight.” America said. “We need to start packing and planning what to do and go! Who’s ready to have fun!?”</p><p>Everyone launched up with their fist in the air, Russia laughed and smiled. “Fine, I’ll go. It has been a long time since we did go out as a family.”</p><p>“Sounds good dude! Now get ready. Because we are leaving in an hour!”</p><p>“What!!!!” Everyone yelled.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Caleb-Nebraska<br/>Alex- Illinois<br/>Benjamin- Virginia<br/>Betsy-Florida</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The family grabbed all of their stuff, packed in any clothes or food and putting them in the bus. Wyoming and Texas were carrying a large suitcase, raising California’s suspicion. “What is in there?”</p><p>”Nothing!” Texas and Wyoming both said. </p><p>“It’s not nothing if you won’t open them!”</p><p>”Stop it!” Texas answered.</p><p>”It’s just junk!” Then both luggages fell and opened. A couple of clothes, ammo, and guns popped open. The two looked stunned as Selina grinned.</p><p>“Haha! I knew it! You two are bringing weapons.” <br/><br/></p><p>“It’s for protection!” Wyoming said.</p><p>”You two are putting those things away and-“ Soon, California’s bag fell off the bed and opened up. A gold Luger fell and landed by her feet. Cali was the one who was stunned and  two grinned at her. “So, Ms.gun laws sure likes to have a gun with her.” Texas scoffed.</p><p>”Just don’t say anything.” Cali said.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Nevada was stuffing his luggage with random chips and clothes. New Jersey noticed and interfere. “Woah Garćes, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Nothing, just packaging some stuff in case I get board.”</p><p>“While you’re added, why not stuff a casino into there.”</p><p>“Nah, wouldn’t fit.” He tried to close it but it wasn't locking at all. He sat on it and finally it closed.</p><p>“Ah, got you.” He said. But when he moved away, the luggage explode and clothes, cards, and chips landed everywhere around the room. Nevada smiled at the Jersey man.</p><p>New Jersey grabbed the underwear from his head and said. “What if I helped you pack?”</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>New York was packing his stuff while Florida was grabbing food and her pet alligator. New York hang up and tap her shoulder. “Betsy, what are you doing?”</p><p>“I want to bring my babies with me, I can’t leave them home alone.”</p><p>“Then give them to a shelter.”</p><p>“I can’t! I don’t want to part with them.” Florida was giving New York big puppy eyes. Her alligators were also giving him the same treatment. He sigh.</p><p>“Fine, but don’t let them anywhere near me.” Then an alligator bit New York’s finger.</p><p>“Thanks you so much NY! I can’t thank you enough!”</p><p>“Then let this little bastard go!”</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Alexander was packing his stuff but cropped when his phone rang. He picked it up and saw it was Lichtenstein. He immediately answered it and said.</p><p>“Hello Erika.”</p><p>“Hello ‘Xander, I got your text. So you’re really gonna go to a trip?”</p><p>”Yeah. My dad thinks it’s gonna bring us closer together.”</p><p>”Sounds nice. I hope you enjoy it.”</p><p>”I’m sure we will. Do you want me to bring you a souvenir?”</p><p>”No, it’s okay.”</p><p>”You sure? I can send it to your address?”</p><p>”Well...if you do, just give me something small. I don’t want anything too much.”</p><p>”Sounds good. I’ll-I’ll text you when I can.”</p><p>”Sounds perfect. Have fun Xander.”</p><p>”Yeah, I-I- I will Good bye.”</p><p>”Good bye. Be safe.”</p><p>He hang up, he was so nervous around her. But now he had to think about a gift for her that she will like. But I’m sure she will like it. They are friends, right?</p><p>~~~~~~~<br/>”Everyone ready?!” Alfred yelled. Everyone boarded the bus and put all the food in the fridge and  buckled in their seats. Alfred started the bus, Anya sat next to him and read her book and said. “Be careful driving Alfred. I know how you get when you are stressed.” <br/><br/></p><p>“Don’t worry Anya,” America smiled. “I know this trip will help me cool down and relax. Relax Anya, this trip is gonna follow everything on my hit list!”</p><p>”Your wha-“</p><p>”My hit list! You know the thing I was listing off earlier? When we go through all that, I’ll have the best All American road trip ever!”</p><p>Anya smirked and continued on with her book. “Well, don’t expect everything will happen your way.”</p><p>”Ahh come on, you just got to have faith.” With that said, he pulled out of the drive way, and went straight for the road. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The states just arrived on the freeway, Russia was reading her book, Alfred was keeping his eyes on the road, and the states were doing their own thing to keep busy. Cali, Wyoming, Texas, Georgia, and Florida were communicating. “Lets see,” Florida started, “in a zombie apocalypse, I’ll be the muscle! I can take down heavy objects and use them to my advantage against the horde.”</p>
<p>”For me,” Wyoming stated “I’ll be the gun-nut. I’ll have a superior knowledge on every weapon and be able to use and teach people how to use them. And kill every last one.” He said with a sinister glare.</p>
<p>”Okay, moving on.” Cali said. “I’ll be the craftsman. I will be able to craft weapons or vehicles to use against the horde.”</p>
<p>“How? You’re gonna have China do all the work?” Texas said.</p>
<p>”Hey! You know what!”</p>
<p>”Yes I dooo!” Alexander got up from his seat and watched the commotion and spoke.</p>
<p>”What are you doing?”</p>
<p>”We creating our characters incase a zombie apocalypse started.” Florida said.</p>
<p>”Cool! Can I join?”</p>
<p>”Sure. Just say what type you’ll be.”</p>
<p>”Let see. I love technology, although tech won’t be useful. I do know guns but have horrible aim. I know! I can be the weapons guy! I can use swords, knifes, bats, anything type of blunt or shape weapon at my disposal.” He then received confused stares from his siblings.</p>
<p>”That kinda sounds cool but I don’t think you can be that. You’re short.” Georgia said.</p>
<p>”Hey! I’m a teenager! Beside, Connecticut is short, is she gonna die?”</p>
<p>”No, Connecticut has amazing agility. She can outrun anyone. Although, I know what you can be! You can be out drummer boy!” Then an image of Alexander in a marching band uniform, holding a drum.</p>
<p>“I’m not a drummer boy!” Xander screams. “Besides, noise will attract more zombies.”</p>
<p>”Yeah, he’s right.” Texas added. “He could be our mascot.” Then another image was shown of Xander but in a bear costume holding a shield and a tiny sword.<em> “Roar”</em><br/>“Oh my God that’s adorable!” Georgia speaks.</p>
<p>”He does look cute!” Wyoming added.</p>
<p>Alexander was fuming, however his phone chimed. He received a notification from Lichtenstein’s homepage. He got back in his seat and looked at it. She had a picture of herself and her brother drinking tea in the countryside. Xander liked the picture and continued to stare at the picture a little longer. Feeling a little hot till...</p>
<p>”Watcha doing?” Alexander got scared and looked back to see Arizona looking at him. </p>
<p>“Nothing!”</p>
<p>”Doesn't look like nothing.”</p>
<p>”What’s going on?” Utah said. The native man grabbed the phone away from Xander and showed them. Much to Xander’s dismay. </p>
<p>“Give that back!” Xander screamed.</p>
<p>“It’s some girl’s social media?” Utah said.</p>
<p>”Isn’t this the lickFrankenstein?” Arizona said.</p>
<p>”Lichtenstein!” Xander corrected.</p>
<p>”Oh my God!” Georgia said “Xander! You have a crush!”</p>
<p>”No I do not!”</p>
<p>”Then why do you follow her?” Arizona said, looking at his phone.</p>
<p>”Because we are friend!”</p>
<p>”Then why do you have her number?”</p>
<p>”Because we are friend!”</p>
<p>”Then why do you have photos of her?”</p>
<p>”Because- WAIT NO I DO NOT!! Get off my phone!”</p>
<p>”Xander, have you done anything with her yet?” Wyoming said. </p>
<p>“No. We didn’t hang out, we are only talking.”</p>
<p>”Well you have to do something for her!” Georgia said. “I know! You can get her a gift!”</p>
<p>”Get her something to prove how much you loved her!” Texas.</p>
<p>”But she said she doesn’t want anything too big.”</p>
<p>”Dude,” Arizona crouched down. “Let me tell you something. When a girl says to give her something not too big, it means give her a large gift.”</p>
<p>”Really?”</p>
<p>”Yeah, it’s a trick question. They want to see if you really love them at all.”</p>
<p>”Is that true?”</p>
<p>”Trust me, I’m a casa nova.”</p>
<p>”More like casa Nobody.” Cali said. “Xander, if you listen to him, your relationships would be one night stands with drunk college chicks.” </p>
<p>“Oh yeah, your one to talk Ms. drinks a gallon.”</p>
<p>”At least I don’t go home with random people.”</p>
<p>”Yeah cause I don’t want you clogging my restroom.”</p>
<p>”What!”</p>
<p>”DUDES!” Alfred screamed, to have everyone hear him. “We’re here!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The states exit out the bus and saw they were in a town by the ocean. Xander turned to his father and said “Dad, where are we?”</p>
<p>”Annapolis! Our first stop in our trip before we head to Delaware.” America said.</p>
<p>”So we’re not visiting Baltimore?” Maryland said.</p>
<p>”No cause we want to keep our stuff.” North Carolina said. </p>
<p>“Shut up!” Maryland said as she started to smack him.</p>
<p>”So what now?” Alaska said.</p>
<p>”You guys can go around and see shops, buy some snacks or even take pictures. I’ll be out refueling. Just be here in 11:30.” With that said, the other states scattered and went into the other shops. Xander went into a shop and looked at all the trinkets they had. He picked out an item and was gonna buy till “Xander,” Georgia called out. He turned and saw Georgia, Arizona, Cali, and Wisconsin behind him. “What are you doing?”</p>
<p>”What? I’m buying a souvenir for Lichtenstein.” He held out the postcard that said “Greetings from Annapolis!” With the city in the background. </p>
<p>“Well it’s a nice gift but...”</p>
<p>”It’s lazy.” Cali called out.</p>
<p>“How? It’s inexpensive, it’s not too much, and simple to mail it.”</p>
<p>”Yeah but I mean, it just seem lazy because you just got it on the first day. Take some time to see what others have or even get her something that relates to her interest. What does she like?”</p>
<p>Arizona butt in. “Well, according to her profile-“</p>
<p>”YOU STILL HAVE MY PHONE!! GIVE IT BACK!!” Xander screamed as he tried to reach  for his phone but the tall Arizonan had Xander’s phone in his hand and raised it so he couldn’t get it. That is when a scowling lady came up to them, she didn’t say a word by her face told them to shut it. Arizona gave the phone back.</p>
<p>“Any who,” Alexander said. “She likes her big brother, tea, anything about her country.”</p>
<p>”Just get her a gun.” Wisconsin said.</p>
<p>“What! No we aren’t buying a gun!” Cali scold.</p>
<p>“That’s what I do for my sweetheart.”</p>
<p>”A body pillow doesn’t count.” </p>
<p>“Well neither a vibrator-“</p>
<p>”WHAT!” The same old lady came up to them, this time putting a finger to her mouth. The three of them shut up. “The thing is, even if we bought a gun and send it, they won’t hand it to a sixteen year old.“</p>
<p>”No but you can buy the parts and send them in so she could build it herself.”</p>
<p>”Like she knows how to build an automatic weapon.”</p>
<p>”You be surprised.” </p>
<p>Xander said. “So my choices are getting a gun-“</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>”Ok, getting something that reminds her of her big brother, tea, or even about her nation.”</p>
<p>”Yes.”</p>
<p>”I still say you buy her a gun.”</p>
<p>“We are not getting a gun.”</p>
<p>”Ahh, I wanted a gun.” Georgia said.</p>
<p>”NO ONE! IS GETTING-“ Cali was cutoff when the same old lady grabbed her by the shoulder. The rest were all, literally, thrown out of the store and landed by the bus. “Hey! That was uncalled for!” Cali said.</p>
<p>”And I didn’t even buy my gift.” Xander said.</p>
<p>”It’s okay Xander.” Georgia said. “Maybe this was God’s way of saying not to get it. Besides, there are more places we still have to visit.” After that, the states returned and got back into the bus. Alfred was eating a donut and so were the rest of the states. Xander took a picture as they were leaving the city and posted it. He hoped this trip would play in his favor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the gang entered Dover, they took in the sights and saw...nothing.</p><p>”Man, it’s boring here.” Said Betsy.</p><p>”Oh come on! You haven’t seen what Dover really has.” Said Delaware herself. </p><p>“Like what?” Said Hank. </p><p>“Well, we have a brewery! And the speed track! And a beach!”</p><p>”Can we go there now?” She though for a bit.</p><p>”Dad! Can we go visit the stuff I mentioned?”</p><p>”Sure! Make sure you have enough time to come back to the vehicle.” Alfred said. The group then left to go into the brewery and try some samples. Xander couldn’t go in because he wasn’t 21. But he did go see the speed track with Florida, Nebraska, and Montana. Xander looked around the gift shop and found a neat little car keychain. He picked it up and though it would be good for Erika. She loves tech and engineering so it would be good. He was about to pay but Florida stopped him. </p><p>“What?” He said.</p><p>”Is that for Erika?” She said.</p><p>”Yeah, isn’t it cute. I think she’ll like it.”</p><p>”Yeah, car crashes and burnt rubber is a good way to give a lady.”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”Xander, this keychains is lazy.”</p><p>”How? It’s small and cheap. Plus she likes tech and engineering.”</p><p>”Xander, look. This gift could help define your relationship with this girl. You need to find her the right one, that is inexpensive, but one that will make her feel special. Like for me, I give them something that I know everyone will love.”</p><p>”Is that why you give everyone alligators?!”</p><p>”Well yeah, I mean who doesn’t like alligators?”</p><p>”People who don’t want to be eaten! Remember last Christmas.”</p><p>”Oh that was just one time.”</p><p>”We barely made it out of the house!”</p><p>“Now I know not to give a full grown alligator.” After that, they left Dover. Xander was thinking at what she meant said. Should he take caution on what to get her? What if she doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to meet him anymore. No, Erika wouldn’t be like that. She’s sweet and kind. </p><p>“Hey Romeo!” Alexander woke up from reality and saw Arizona staring back at him. “Dad said to get off. Also stop staring at that page, it’s creepy.” He looked at his phone and saw that he was staring at Erika’s account this entire time. His face grew red as he left the bus and found that they were already in Philadelphia. America was posing as he looked at the city and said. “This dude, this is the city where I was born! This is the place where we kicks Britain’s butt and created the greatest country on earth. Boy, all the memories and had of this place. What would Ben Franklin say?”</p><p>”He would say where are all his bitches at!” Arizona yelled before getting smacked by Russia.</p><p>”Do you want me to make your head bleed?”</p><p>”No! So-sorry Mrs. Russia.” He said still quaking.</p><p>“Ooh, Louisiana! Lets watch the nightman cometh! It’s says it’s a rock opera, I love those!” Said Georgia.</p><p>“Hey, lets go drink I’m parched.” Said Nevada and the rest of the .</p><p>”I’m gonna go talk to squirrels.” Said Vermont.</p><p>Alexander was left alone, Alfred and Anya stood beside him. Alfred spoke “Well dude, looks like it’s just you and us.” Xander smiled and said. “Okay.” The three of them went to a museum and looked around to see the history of America. Alfred told stories about what really happen like after the signing of the declaration, they all got hammered, or how Ben Franklin would crack up jokes at the British with some of the ladies. Russia had to stop him from telling him anymore because it was getting a little nsfw.</p><p>After seeing the liberty bell, they went into a gift shop. Xander looked around and found a little snow globe that had the liberty bell with the back drop of the city. “Hey dad.” Xander said. “Do girls care so much what you get them?”</p><p>”Oh, well not at all. They could care less what you get them. As long as they truly love you, they won’t brother what you get them.” Xander smiled, Erika couldn’t care less about what he got for her.</p><p>”Although they can worry about what you get them. One time, I got your mom a bouquet of sunflowers. It was nice and all but when I showed them to her, she proceeded to burn them.”</p><p>”What! Mom did that in-front of you?”</p><p>”Yeah, it turns out that Russians are very superstitious when it comes to flower counts. But I knew your mom didn’t mean any harm at all, she apologized and bought me dinner, right after we got the house blessed.” Xander was now a little worried. What if Erika doesn’t like the gift? No, she’s not cruel at all. He was at the cash register and gave the girl the globe. “Remember,” she said. “All sales are final. Are you sure this is what you want?”</p><p>”Yes.” Xander said.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>He saw Erika sipping a nice cup of tea by the country side. He arrived, holding a small box. She stood up and looked at the decorative piece. “Erika,” he said. “This is for you.” He gives the box to Erika, she opens it and see’s it’s the snow globe from Philadelphia. She cradles the decorative globe for a while till Xander spoke. “Do you like it?”</p><p>”Oh Xander,” She said. “This is TERRIBLE!” She drops the globe to the grounds, shattering it to tiny little pieces, leaking all the water and fake snow.</p><p>”No!” Xander screams as he reaches down to look at the damage.</p><p>”I hate you! Is that all I mean to you?! I never want to see you again!!”</p><p>”Excuse me sir?” The woman was now getting freaked out, the red planet had a thousand yard stare in his face. “Sir!” She said, this woke Xander up and found himself to be back in reality. “Are you buying this?”</p><p>”No! No, never mind I’ll put back. Sorry!” He said as he puts back the globe and leave. </p><p>“Weird kid.” Said the cashier.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After an hour or so, the gang when back into the bus. Packing and taking their seats as Alfred started the bus. “Hey Georgia!” Said Alexander. “How was the rock opera?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to talk about it.” Georgia said.”</p>
<p>”Man! How did Benjamin Franklin get drunk in this dry ass town!? Nevada whined.</p>
<p>”The squirrels told me that they saw you get kicked out.” Vermont added.</p>
<p>“Well tell your squirrels to choke on a nut.” Vermont gasped and flicked at the man’s forehead. As they were leaving the state, the sun was going down. They went into New Jersey and the area they went was suspicious. The area was dark and macabre.</p>
<p>“Father,” Utah said. “Where are we going?”</p>
<p>“One of the best parts on a road trip is hanging out at a decrepit motel. The family has no choice but to stay there for the night. The beds are soggy, the walls are moldy, and let me tell you, that ain’t chocolate on the pillows.” He stopped the bus, got out and yelled. “Now, this is where the fun, BEGINS!!” He then sees a gigantic hotel/casino in its place. Then a shin gun boulevard of high end shops, restaurants, and a homes.</p>
<p>”Wow! That is huge!” Nevada said. </p>
<p>“Yeah, for a second I though dad was gonna take us to a crappy motel but this is better!” Louisiana said.</p>
<p>“What happen? There was an old motel here, and these shops were never here before?”</p>
<p>”Oh, Atlantic City investors wanted to expand so more went to this area since it’s the closest to the beach.” New Jersey said.</p>
<p>They step out and stared at the hotel. While Alfred was silently weeping. <br/>“Dad?” Xander said. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Alfred stood up straight and said. “Well enough of that, let’s head inside.”</p>
<p>”Cool trick father.” Utah said.</p>
<p>~~~~<br/>Once inside, they got their rooms and explore the whole place. Even went to the surrounding casinos to play. Nevada and the rest of the sunbelt went to go drink or shop. Nevada couldn’t go anywhere because he was under 21 but he still explored the area. The hotel had a indoor mini golf and thought that his parent would love that. He went to go see them but heard his father and mother talking.</p>
<p>”Alfred I don’t see the big deal.”</p>
<p>”Anya, how can we have the best road trip when we have this? I mean, they have actual chocolate on the pillows.”</p>
<p>“I think it’s nice.”</p>
<p>”How? This is the all American dream road trip! We are suppose to be in a rundown hotel, not a...magnificent palace. I want something that everyone can look back on and remember.”</p>
<p>”Well, I think it’s working. Everyone is having fun and enjoying themselves. It’s not gonna be like what you have imagined, but the best thing is you can is have fun.” She placed his head on her chest. “Besides, you still have 44 states to go. I’m sure you can have fun, starting now.” The two kissed, and Anya began to undo his belt. That is when Xander decided to leave them alone. <br/><br/></p>
<p>He spend the night playing at an arcade and eating at a pizza place. Then once everyone returned to the hotel, they all went to bed. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When it was the crack of dawn, Alfred woke everyone up. Much to their dismay. “Wakey wakey! Eggs an bakey!” Alfred said.</p>
<p>“Come back at six.” Xander groaned.</p>
<p>“It is six!”</p>
<p>“Then how come your so damn chipper?” Russia commented.</p>
<p>“Because I drank like 4 cups of coffee. Now lets go and take advantage of the complimentary breakfast before we leave.” He left so he could wake the others up.</p>
<p>They then went downstairs to eat at the buffet and talk to each other. California and Texas were still sleepy. “Are you two okay?” Xander said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, just so tired.” Cali said. “Couldn’t get any sleep last night.</p>
<p>“Maybe we would if those two didn’t screw like jackrabbit.” He then pointed to Russia and America. </p>
<p>“Wait? They were in the same room as I and I slept like a baby.”</p>
<p>“That’s because they were everywhere.” </p>
<p>“I didn’t hear them.”</p>
<p>“Tell that to the hotel staff. She’s a screamer.” Texas added.</p>
<p>“Gross!” Xander said.</p>
<p>“Oh please, you’ll know gross when you see it.” </p>
<p>“Hey dudes!” America came by and sat next to them with a big plate of bacon, pancakes, and eggs. Russia sat next to him as well but had a cup of apples. “Sleep well last night?”</p>
<p>“Uggh.” Cali groaned. Alexander continued to eat what was in his plate until Russia noticed her son was looking off. </p>
<p>“Xander?” She spoke. “Is something wrong?”</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing Мама.” He said, his Russian sounding off. </p>
<p>“Alexander, I’m your mother and I know something is wrong with you. So what is it?” Her aura turned the room icy cold. Xander looked at his mom and was about to speak until..</p>
<p>“Xander is a little worried on what to get his little friend.”</p>
<p>“Dad!” Xander blushed.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry dude, you’re just over thinking it that’s all.”</p>
<p>“Little friend?” Russia said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you know Lichtenstein from the Halloween party last year? Xander and her have been friends and he wants to give her a souvenir.” Mars was becoming more and more red by the second. Russia turned to her son and said.</p>
<p>“Get her a gun.”</p>
<p>“What?!” Cali said.</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea.” Texas said.</p>
<p>“No it’s not! They are teens! They can’t handle a gun?”</p>
<p>“You’re one to talk.” Texas answered.</p>
<p>“Why not?” Alfred said. “That’s what I give Russia for our anniversary.”</p>
<p>“And what I give my Fedya for his birthday. As well as something else.”</p>
<p>“Eww.” Xander said. </p>
<p>“But you don’t have to give her a gun, but you shouldn’t worry. If she is a true friend, I’m sure she will like whatever you give her.” Xander cracked a smile at his mother and felt calm.</p>
<p>“Or you can get her a gun.” Texas said.</p>
<p>“No!” Cali answered.<br/>After breakfast, they left the hotel. Not before dragging  Nevada and New Jersey away from the slots. Once everyone was back in the bus, they left and hit the road. Xander tuned to his phone and watched some videos. After what felt like a minute, they found themselves in overlooked New York city. They stopped near Manhattan to take a breather.</p>
<p>“Ahh, home sweet home.” New York said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, smell that? That’s the lovely smell of urine and failed progressive ideas.” Texas said.</p>
<p>“Hey!” New York shot back. “At least I’m not like California.”</p>
<p>“Wait, how did I get roped into this?!” She said.<br/>While the fighting went on, Xander looked around at the big metropolis in front of him. He wondered if his colony starts growing more into trade and production, will he have mega cities like this? He saw the it was crowded and getting kinda loud. He went near his family again so he could be somewhere familiar. </p>
<p>“Okay gang!” Alfred said. “We will look around, meet back here at around 11:30. At 12, we can all eat at a restaurant.” After that, everyone went into different things. Alfred left Xander with New York, Texas, Missouri, and Wisconsin while he made some adjustments to the car. “Be carful and make sure Xander is safe.”</p>
<p>“We will father.” NY said.</p>
<p>“See yah later dad.” Xander said. Then then went into Central Park to enjoy the rest of the day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alexander looked at the surrounding flora, he thought of sending Lichtenstein some but they would die of dehydration. However, seeds are a good idea, Lichtenstein loves gardens and nature so she would love the idea. “Hey New. York, do you know any plants shops around here?”</p><p>”What am I, Siri?” He then pulled out his phone and said. “I found four shops nearby.”</p><p>They walked past the zoo and saw a bunch of seals in the water, a seal looked at Xander and noticed he looked familiar, kinda like him. Xander waved at him and the seal winked at the kid.<br/>
~~~~~~<br/>
California, Oregon, and Washington  were together in Larry Vootain. “My state is not a failure! I mean, I’m trying my best but progress takes failure. I mean, you don’t think I’m a failure?” The Washington just shrugged his shoulder and took a ship from his coffee. “Yeah! I have the largest economy in the world! And Texas is what? 5th? I’m the definition of dichotomy, duality! Katarina in the womb for nine months 'til she birthed me!”</p><p>”What are you talking about?” Oregon said. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I-I-I don’t know what that was.” She answered.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~<br/>
Missouri noticed that the skies were getting a little dark, and cloudy. “Is it gonna rain?”</p><p>”It shouldn’t be.” Texas said. “I mean it is the beginning of summer. Yo, Ny. When does it normally rain?”</p><p>“Rains normally in July. But is sometimes rain in the summer. But it shouldn’t rain today.”</p><p>”I need a couple of seeds that’s all.” Xander said.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Georgia skipped on the pavement as Massachusetts and Maine walked behind her. “It’s such a nice day out.” Maine said.</p><p>”Hope nothing bad happens.”</p><p>”Oh no, then something bad will happen.” Georgia said. They waited for a few minutes and nothing. ”Huh guess nothing-“ Then a heavy downpour hit them. They ran towards shelter and dried their hairs. “Now it’s a nice day.” Massachusetts answered.</p><p>”Well, at least it can get any worse.” Maine said.</p><p>”Oh great now something bad will happen! I’ve seen it on Clone high, watch in 3, 2,...”</p><p>~~~~~~~<br/>
”Close because of hurricane?!” The 5 of them shouted. </p><p>“It can’t be! I just need some seeds!” Xander said. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“You can buy some later! Now we have to live!” Missouri said as she dragged him down the street. </p><p>“Guys relax!” Texas said. “There hasn’t been a hurricane since 2012.” Then ,at that precise moment, lighting strike at a nearby tree causing it to be on fire. </p><p>“There! Now can we go?!”</p><p>~~~~~~~~~</p><p>The whole city was in chaos. As everyone scrambled to get back out of the urban areas, Alfred was making sure everyone was back in the bus. “Okay everyone! Hang on!” He stared the car and drove like a bat out of hell. Everyone was still in shocked, praying to God that they would live. Utah was leading the prayer.</p><p>Xander was scared, he hasn’t been in a hurricane before and from what he is seeing, it’s dangerous. He went and sat with Florida. “Florida, may I sit here?”</p><p>”Well, I mean you are sitting here.”</p><p>”I just need to talk to someone.”</p><p>”Well I am here. You can talk to old Hermana.</p><p>”How did you get through a hurricane?” The Floridian pondered for a bit and said.</p><p>”Well, I would always cuddled up with my babies. I have one right- OH NO!” She reached into her pocket and found nothing. “MY BABIES. They were right here and now they're-“</p><p>”Calm down! Where did you last put them?”</p><p>”Well, I was in the showers and had to put my-“</p><p>”AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!” A scream came from the bathroom. Everyone turned to see a half naked NY jump out. “Help! Something is biting me!” The baby alligators were eating his toes and hands. Florida rushed over to get her babies off NY.</p><p>”What is going on over there?!” Russia stood up to see the commotion. It was a total disaster, everyone was scared of the alligators and ran in front of the bus or try to hold NY from getting anymore bites and Florida was trying not to hurt her Babies. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Oh crap, everyone hang on!!” Alfred shouted as he made a sharp turn. Soon everyone was launch to the left side of the bus, the alligators got scared and stopped hitting NY but hid in somewhere in the bus. Everyone stood on top of the chairs as not to get bit by the reptilians.</p><p>As Xander was launched to the other side, he saw the chaos inside the bus. He try to find comfort outside but noticed NYC looked a little short. That is when they found themselves up in the air. Is this how Xander will go out? Is everyone gonna die? Xander shut his eyes as tears started to run down. He never got to say goodbye, to his uncles, his grandpa’s, or Erika. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the hurricane roared on, the group held on to each other for dear life. Xander was reliving his life again and cried. Xander used whatever energy he had to get up and see and saw rain pouring outside the window. As things looked worse, a loud thud shook the bus. It was quiet, Alfred sat up and looked back to check on his family.</p><p> </p><p>“Is everyone okay?” He said. “I think we’re safe.” </p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” Georgia said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna go check.” Alfred left the bus to go see the damage. Xander got up and looked around. His mom went to see him. </p><p> </p><p>“My baby! Are you okay?” She moved his head around to see if he was hurt. “Do you need anything?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, мама.” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay, I swear.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll check on Alaska and come back to you.” Xander saw Cali and Texas get up.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you guys okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” Texas said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not!” Cali yelled. “Look at me! My martins are  ruined!” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s what you get with Chinese crap.”</p><p>“Shut up!”</p><p> </p><p>“Ow!” They turned and saw Utah being crushed by Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Wyoming, and Colorado. “I -can’t- feel- my legs.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t feel my hands.” Nevada said.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t feel my chest.” Wyoming answer. </p><p> </p><p>“Mfm phfm mrfffph mf mmpph.” Colorado muffled. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, get off of each other.” Cali said. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, has anyone seen West Virginia?” Texas asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Hold on.” Virginia got up and opened the compartment, and West Virginia fell and landed on the floor with a bottle of whisky in his hand. “He does this every time we are in an emergency.”</p><p> </p><p>Florida shot yo from the seats and held on to her alligators. “Okay, roll call! Juan, Ponce, wait, where is Leon?”</p><p> </p><p>“Right here.” NY went up and had a baby alligator chewing on his finger. </p><p> </p><p>“Yay! Thank you!” Florida got him in a bear hug. Things looked alright, for the most part. Nobody was badly injured, nothing was lost or even damaged. Alfred got in the bus and got everyone’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>“So dudes and dudettes, I got good news &amp; awesome news! The good news is we landed safely with no damages to the bus and the hurricane is over.”</p><p> </p><p>“And the awesome news?” Xander said.</p><p> </p><p>“The awesome news is that we landed in Hartford, Connecticut! Do you know what this means? Our road trip continues! Now lets have some fun!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know!” Alaska said. “Let’s visit the world famous Hartford hospital.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you want dude! Now let the awesomeness begin!” Xander may have survived, but his journey isn’t over yet. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After getting checked at the hospital, they left Connecticut and went into the state of Rhode island. Entering Providence, they explored the city, Xander was trying to find a gift, it was nice seeing a bright sunny day after a hurricane, that strangely seemed out of nowhere. He took a picture of the skyline and saved it. <br/><br/></p>
<p>After Rhode Island, they went to Boston. Massachusetts showed around her city and even the place John F Kennedy lived in. “This is the place where John F stayed when he was young.”</p>
<p>”You, Er-uh, sure about that?” Nevada joked. Massachusetts stared at him.</p>
<p>”You pull that again and I’ll curse you.”</p>
<p>”God, did they burn people with a sense of humor?” Nevada replied back. Alfred had to get between them before it got uglier. Xander took another photo of the fight and a few things as well.</p>
<p>No souvenir in sight. They then went into Maine and stopped at the woods. It was dark out so after a rough day, they camped. Texas got a propane tank and fired up the grill. Wisconsin and Montana started setting up the tents. Xander and Alfred were startgazing.</p>
<p>”So right there is Ursa Minor. What about that one?”</p>
<p>”Thats... Draco?”</p>
<p>”Right!” Alfred said. </p>
<p>“Hey dad?” Xander said. “I have a question, do you find it strange that there was a hurricane out of nowhere? They didn’t say nothing in the news.”</p>
<p>”I did too find it strange but think nothing about it. Just have fun.” Russia came over and tapped his shoulder.</p>
<p>”Dinner’s ready.”</p>
<p>”Oh cool!” Alfred yelled. <br/><br/></p>
<p>They sat together and ate together. The meat was cooked good and thank you clean burning propane. Quoted Texas. </p>
<p>“Hey, maybe we could see sirenhead tonight!” West Virginia said.</p>
<p>”What’s that?” Xander said.</p>
<p>”It a tall creature with sirens for head. It can mimics people’s voices to trap you. And once it has you, he’ll pounce.”</p>
<p>”Oh please,” Virginia said. “It’s just a knockoff of slender man. Plus he isn’t real.”</p>
<p>”Not as real as atheist Skinwalker.” Arizona added. “They’ll pretend to be your love one and gobble you up.”</p>
<p>”He isn’t real either!” Virginia yelled.</p>
<p>”Can you stop talking about monsters?” Russia cut into the conversation. “Beside, real monster is standing near you. And you do not want to provoke her.” Her aura made the air heavy and that quite everyone. Xander was freaked out by his own mom. She can get scary sometimes. <br/><br/></p>
<p>After dinner, some went into the tents while others when into the tents. Xander stopped Arizona. “So Arizona, how do you know what a skinwalker is?”</p>
<p>“Sometimes people report strange things in the desert. One time a woman was found dead in the streets, her body was scratched up people say a wild animal attacked her. However, someone called forth that it was the work of a Skinwalker.”</p>
<p>”How do you spot one?” <br/><br/></p>
<p>“Sometimes Skinwalkers can take the form of your loved ones, or even people that look like they don’t pose a danger at all. They will try to make you follow them and once you do...” Arizona lunged at Xander. Xander flinched then a smile formed from Arizona. “Sleep tight, <em>Alexander</em>.” </p>
<p>He went into the tent an Xander clutched his phone. He knows they don’t exist, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xander ran to Lichtenstein, who was sipping tea by the lake. He was carrying a small gift that was neatly wrapped and had to protect it at all cost. He got close and spoke “Erika! I’m sorry I am late. I got you a souvenir, I hope you like it.” Erika turned around, but it wasn’t her. She had the face of wolf and a her eyes were red with hunger. “It’s nice, I’ll open it after lunch.” It growled. And lunges at Xander.</p>
<p>“Xander!” Xander shot up and hit his head on a hard surface. He opened his and saw his father holding his head. “Dad?”</p>
<p>”Ahh, good morning Xander. Ow my head.” He groaned. “Sorry to wake you but we got to pack up and head out.” <br/><br/></p>
<p>“Sorry dad, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”</p>
<p>”Naw dude, I’ll be okay.” Still clutching his head. “Now hurry and pack up and get on the bus.”</p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>After cleaning up the camp grounds, the gang drove to Portland, Maine. Maine was happily showing off her state. “As you can see, my city is so clean and vibrant.”</p>
<p>”Hey are we gonna see the clown?” West Virginia shouted.</p>
<p>“No, cause it’s fake.” Virginia said. </p>
<p>“Are you scared boy?” Texas said.</p>
<p>”No, I just wanted to let you all know.l</p>
<p>“What’s the matter, Benjie?” A creepy voice called out. Virginia looked behind him and saw a clown with sharp teeth. “ You’ll float too!” Virginia screamed  and ran off in the distance. Maine paid Massachusetts as they watched him crash into a fish tank and get attacked by a bunch of lobsters. Anya took a picture as they try to get the lobsters off. “This one is a keeper.”</p>
<p>After that, they left to New Hampshire. She was happily showing off her state too. However, some of the people left and went to go shop. Xander was looking at a collection of bells with the flag on them. “You okay?” Xander turned and saw North and South Carolina. “You’ve been looking at them bells for quite awhile.”</p>
<p>”You think Lichtenstein would like a bell?”</p>
<p>North spoke”Yeah, sure. Now she can be able to call you whenever.” Then an image of Lichtenstein ringing a bell and Xander in a butler suit holding a plate of tea. <em>“Yes my queen?”</em></p>
<p>“No! Nothing like that!”</p>
<p>Then south spoke ”Well, if there is no purpose for a bell, what’s the purpose of getting one?”</p>
<p>”Isn't the whole point of souvenirs is getting crap people don’t need?”</p>
<p>”Shh!” They both shushed him. ”People can’t know.” <br/><br/></p>
<p>“Okay then, what about this spoon? Would that be better?”</p>
<p>The twins rubbed their chins, then north said “It’s useable,”</p>
<p>South said. “It’s nice.” <br/><br/></p>
<p>Then both said. “It’s perfect!”</p>
<p>“Great! Erika will love it!” He bought the spoon and had got a purple bow to tie the box. Xander had competed his journey, now he can enjoy his vacation. Now he can relax in Burlington, right after Vermont takes a shower.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After making Vermont take a shower, they entered her state. She showed off Burlington but was too busy talking to the trees and animals so the gang went their separate ways. <br/><br/></p>
<p>Alfred was stretching when Anya came up to him. “Alfred, could you go check on Xander and Alaska? I need to check the tires on the bus.”</p>
<p>”Actually, let me do that.”</p>
<p>”Alfred, I want you to hang out with your sons. It’s best if you guys make the best of it on this trip.”</p>
<p>”Yeah, buts that not until step....” He pulled out his long list and scroll through it. “146, that’s when-“</p>
<p>”<strong>Alfred</strong>” Anya said. “Now, be a good boy and hang out with your sons.” She said as she carried the tire on one arm. Alfred went over to where his kids were and said. “So, who wants ice cream?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>America, Mars, and Alaska head off to a ice cream stand and bought some treats. Alaska got plain vanilla, Xander got strawberry with sprinkles, and Alfred got a scoop of every flavor. As they were finding a place to enjoy their treats, Xander felt something in his back pocket. Alaska was pulling something out, causing Xander to turned. “What are you doing?”</p>
<p>”This was about to drop.” He showed the gift box to him. Xander got the box from him. He completely forgot he had this in his pocket. </p>
<p>”What’s that?” Alfred said. </p>
<p>“It’s a gift to his girlfriend.” Alaska causally said.</p>
<p>”ALASKA!” Xander said.</p>
<p>”Oh, got yourself a girl buddy?” Alfred said.</p>
<p>”No, she’s just a friend.”</p>
<p>”Oh God, what is this? A rom-com?” Alaska said.</p>
<p>”There is nothing to be afraid of dude, we’re dudes, we won’t tell.”</p>
<p>”She’s just a friend, okay.” Xander stammered. “I’m getting this as a gift and that is that, I’m just gonna put this back-“ As Xander was heading to the bus, he crashed to a large thing and was knocked down. His ice cream got squashed on himself and the object, then it turned and Xander saw it was a man. He wore a black vest, a red scarf with a insignia of arrows, his eyes filled with rage and staring down at the kid in front of him. </p>
<p>“The hell is wrong with you?!” He scream.</p>
<p>”I-I am sorry-“ </p>
<p>“You ruined my sweater? Do you know how much my mom paid for this?”</p>
<p>“Look dude,” Alfred got between them as Alaska picked up his brother. “We mean you no harm, it was an accident.” Just then, a group of people wearing the same things came out and looked at the two. </p>
<p>“The hell happened?” One member asked.</p>
<p>”This scrawny, ass, bitch ruined my sweater.” </p>
<p>“How dare you! You know how much his mom paid for that?”</p>
<p>“Look, we don’t need this to escalate nor do we use profanity Dude.” </p>
<p>“You should have thought of that before he came along!” <br/><br/></p>
<p>“Look,” Xander spoke up. “I’m sorry. It was an accident, sir.” Just then, everyone looked at the boy, eyes red as the guy. </p>
<p>“What did you call me?”</p>
<p>————-</p>
<p>Anya was already done replacing the tires, everyone was getting on the bus but Cali came up to her. “Mrs. Russia, have you seen dad?”</p>
<p>”Oh, he’s with Alaska and Xander. They are spending some time together and-“</p>
<p>”ANYAAAAAA!!” A loud scream called out, the two of them turned to see Alfred, Xander, and Alaska all running from a large mob of chasing after them. “START THE ENGINE!!” Anya and Cali ran inside and started the bus. The engine roared as the three of them made it to the bus and closed the door behind them. Anya pushed her foot to the gas pedal and drove off, but the mob didn’t stop chasing after them. They threw bottles and rocks at them as the escape. “Mom!” Xander yell. “They’re still following us! What are we gonna do?”</p>
<p>”I got it.” Anya said. “Xander, get mommy her suitcase, Alfred, you may now drive.” Xander went to retrieve his mother’s suitcase, he found it but it was heavy. He gave it to her and thanked him and proceeded to go on the roof of the bus. Everyone watched as Anya pulled out a mini gun out of her suitcase and started shooting. This scared the mob and they eventually retreated. Anya got down and put her suitcase back.</p>
<p>”Wow Mom, that was cool.” Xander said.</p>
<p>”Did you hit anyone?” Vermont said. <br/><br/></p>
<p>“Nyet, I only let them go on a warning. No one hurts my babies.” She said all menacingly. </p>
<p>“Well, now that is over. I think we should try to do something to help calm our nerves from this crazy experience. Burgers anyone?”</p>
<p>The idea of food sounded good, as Xander lost his treat earlier, Xander first had to do something. He reached over to his pocket and got nothing, he then reached over, nothing. He  patted his whole body to look for the it but he came out empty.</p>
<p>”What’s the matter?” Alaska said. </p>
<p>“I lost the gift.” Xander answered. This journey is far from over.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After an escape from the gang, everyone decided to stop at a truck stop in New York. Eating some diner quality food was enough to make everyone forget about the whole ordeal. However, Xander had one thing stressing him out.</p><p>”Crap, crap, crap!” He said. Texas came to sit beside him.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” He said.</p><p>”I lost the gift. I must’ve dropped it when that jackass knocked me down.” </p><p>“Wait, you lost a gift for you little girlfriend?”</p><p>”Friend.”</p><p>”Sure, what did gift did you get here?”</p><p>”A spoon.” Texas gave Xander a “really” look.</p><p>”A spoon? Your upset over a spoon? For God’s sake I though you lost a diamond ring.”</p><p>”But that was a good gift I lost, it was simple, cute, and elegant!”</p><p>”Then buy her a new spoon, or get a gift from somewhere else.” Texas had the right idea, the spoon was lost but they are still on vacation. It isn’t the end of the world so Xander still has time to get a souvenir. “Hey, while you’re at it get her a plate. I’m sure she don’t have any at home.”</p><p>————-</p><p>Back on the road, America was checking off his list. Russia tapped him on his shoulder, just then he swerved to the right side of the road. “Oops.”</p><p>”Alfred, maybe we wouldn’t be on the wrong road if you paid attention.”</p><p>“Sorry Anya, I’m just getting my list ready once we entered the Ohio. So far, we haven’t met a quirky hitch hiker, a ghost from a dead driver, but we did get chased but that was saved for when we went into Nevada.”</p><p>”We’ll be dead drivers if you leave that stupid list alone.”</p><p>“Sorry Anya, I want this trip to be good for all of us. But me especially.”</p><p>”Alfred, our children got chased by radical morons. Do you think that’s a safe trip?”</p><p>“Build up experience. Look, so far the trip has been out of whack. However, I feel like once we head westward, that’s when things start falling into place. The Awsome America vacation is going to be awsome!”</p><p>”GUYS!!” Utah shouted. Just then, they were about to hit a large truck. Alfred swearved to the left and went into a patch of forest. Everyone screamed as the bus was hit by branches and bushes until they stopped by a highway.</p><p>”Hey look, we’re in Ohio!” America pointed at the welcome to Ohio sign.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They arrived at Cleveland, Ohio. They stopped at the waterfront where they visited the shops and museums. Ohio was giving a clear explanation but they were ignoring him. Xander was looking at the water front, it was calming to be honest. He saw the city skyline from a distance and didn’t care about the world around him.</p><p>”Hey Xander.” Arizona said. “Enjoying the river?”</p><p>”Yeah, it’s nice.”</p><p>”So this means you got Erika a gift?”</p><p>”No...NO!” Xander rushed to the stands to see a gift right for Erika. He picked up a shirt that had the flag of Ohio. ‘This looks like a good gift for a girl.’ He thought, he then pictured Lichtenstein wearing the shirt, he thought it wasn’t a good idea. So he picked a sweater that had the Ohio state logo. </p><p>“Xander, what are you doing?” Cali called.</p><p>”Picking up a present for Lichtenstein.”</p><p>”Xander, have you seen Erika with a sweater?”</p><p>”No. I mean-she could start wearing them.”</p><p>”Xander, I doubt a girl would love to have an Ohio state sweater. Unless she loves corn, there’s nothing in here worth mentioning.”</p><p>”Excuse me?” Ohio called forth. “What gives you the right to dissed my state. I have a lot of things worth mentioning.” </p><p>“Well, besides corn and suicides, I doubt Ohio is a traveling destination.”</p><p>”Suicides?!”</p><p>”How dare you!” Michigan yelled. Soon other states began to join in the argument. “You do not talk about our states like that.</p><p>Wyoming added “We’re tired and sick of you guys treating us like-like-“</p><p>“Peasants?” Texas said.</p><p>“Troglodytes?” Florida said.</p><p>“Like flyovers!”</p><p>“We don’t treat you guys like that, we just feel-“ California said.</p><p>“That we have a lot of qualities compared to you guys.” New York answered.</p><p>“Like healthcare,” Massachusetts said. </p><p>“Or economy.” Cali added.</p><p>“Or education.” Oregon said.</p><p>“At least my people aren’t fuckin stupid!” Maine shot back, surprisingly she was the most relaxed person out of all of them.</p><p>America saw the commotion and went to calm everyone down. “Hey dudes, why don’t we relax and calm down. You’re all scaring everyone here.”</p><p>”Only when they take back calling us insignificant!” Idaho yelled.</p><p>”Only when they take back calling our people stupid!” Cali said.</p><p>“Please,” Montana said. “Your reps do a good job at that.”</p><p>”Okay that’s it!” America called out. “Everyone back to the bus.”</p><p>~~~~~~~~<br/>Back on the bus, the tension was thick enough to build the White House. Twice. America saw from the rear view mirror and saw everyone was mad at each other, the bus was slanted because a lot of people wanted to sit away from “them”. Xander sat in the back, alone because he didn’t feel like sitting with anyone. He felt guilty for what happen and just stared at his phone, scrolling at the pictures he took on this trip. </p><p>“Hey dudes,” Alfred said. “I know things seem bad but we’re family and family sticks together! Now,” the bus stopped. “Who wants to visit Detroit?!” A gunshot went off in the distance with the sound of helicopters and screaming added. “Okay, who wants to visit Indianapolis?” Alfred started the bus again.</p><p>”Alfred,” Anya said. “Do you want to talk?”</p><p>”No!” Alfred answered. “No thanks Anya. This is all part of the plan.” He made an exit to a highway. “All...part of the plan.”</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the route to Indianapolis, the entire bus was quite. No one was talking or screaming, it was deadly silent. The tension was thick enough to cut through it. Alfred hoped his states would feel better after visiting the state. </p><p>“So Indiana,” Alfred started. “know a place that we should start with? It is your state.”</p><p>”I was thinking, maybe we could visit the race track museums. Unless that’s too backwards for some people.” She glared at Cali.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I guess being educated takes too much out of me.” </p><p>“Okay smarty pants,” Florida answered. “Enlighten us on how to stop the homeless crisis?”</p><p>”Perhaps you can start with stopping drugs being pushed into your state.” Massachusetts answered. “Last I recalled, you state is notorious with drug lords and zombies.”</p><p>”Oh mass,” Florida answered. “I would’ve took you seriously if it wasn’t for that cheap black hair dye you had on.” Massachusetts got up, opened her finger to reveal a sharp claw, and shout at the woman.</p><p>”<strong>Take that back, you over bloated clown!”</strong></p><p>“Достаточно!” The Russian woman yelled back at the states. They stood silent and the woman smiled. “Now, while your father is driving the bus, I want all by children to behave nicely. Can you all do that for mother Russia?”</p><p>”Please,” Nevada said. “You’re not our mo-“ The gambler received a back handed smack from her. </p><p>“Do not talk back to me.”</p><p>”Yes Ma’am! Sorry Ma’am!”</p><p>”Good, anything else?” The states all shook their heads. “Good, now I believe there is a city of popcorn we need to go to.” The Russian returned back to her seat. The states stood quiet but angrily stared at each other. Alexander was in the back as he listened to his music, he felt guilty in all this, if he wasn’t looking for a souvenir then this fight wouldn’t take place at all. Maybe they’ll be back to their old selfs after crossing the city.</p><p>——————</p><p>“Fuck you!” Arizona shouted. “I’m not a alcoholic, man whore!”</p><p>”You say the as if you believe it!” Texas said.</p><p>”At least he’s not picky with the woman he’s been with.” Cali added.</p><p>”Kinda how you’re picky with your gangs?” Florida clapped back. </p><p>”Everyone stop this at once!” Utah said. “This is not the purpose of the trip. Maybe if we-“</p><p>”Utah, we get it! You’re a Mormon, you don’t have to shove it in our face!” Massachusetts said. “Oh wait, you do because that is all you very do in that polygamist religious of yours.”</p><p>”Like I said, Mormonism doesn’t practice polygamy anymore. And if you want to talk about getting in our faces, we can start by saying how we know you’re a witch and don’t have to act like you’re part of the Addams family. Besides, they had more class than you.”</p><p>”Take that back!” The girl reveled her book as she got in-front of the man. Everyone in the store were looking at them as America tried buying popcorn. “Sorry sir,” the cashier said. “I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”</p><p>”What?”</p><p>”You brought then here and they are causing a scene. So please get out before I call the cops.”</p><p>America was crying as he walked away from his large bag of kettle corn. The states continued to fight and they had to leave the city because no one wanted them.</p><p>Alexander didn’t get a souvenir from that place. He was still sulking. “It’s all my fault.” Said the planetary state.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Indianapolis, the states were still at each other’s throats. None of them wanted to talk or even even hang out. And if only got worse from there.</p><p>Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, they hated each other for another reason. Florida didn’t want to talk to anyone and it was rare for her to get mad. America kept trying to calm everyone down and have them enjoy the vacation, despite his nervousness and fake smile. The person who was between the middle was Alexander. The boy felt like he was responsible for everything, if he want not so caught up in buying a gift then none of this would have happen. “I’m such a simp.” Alexander said to himself and he looked at the pictures of his family smiling.</p><p>“Now everyone!” America said. “I know things seem terrible but it can only get better from here. So, why don’t we-“ America was stopped when a loud shot pop was heard in the back. Everyone got up and looked outside. It was the same type of people back in Maine, chasing them. The gang must’ve radioed other people about Alfred. They were all driving black Priuses and most of them worse black masks. One of them had a shotgun and shot at the tires. </p><p>The bus swerve to the right but Alfred was able to get it together. Anya rushed to her luggage to get the mini gun and went up to the roof. Shooting at the cars, they were beginning to slow down. Unfortunately, Russia ran out of ammo. She had to get more from the compartment but the gang were trying to get on board.</p><p>”Oh God!” Calif said. “They are getting on the bus!”</p><p>”We’re all gonna die!” New York screamed.</p><p>“I only wished that my body be used for mulch.” Vermont said.</p><p>“I wish I wasn’t gonna die next to someone who smelt so bad!” New York said, Russia heard him and had an idea. Grabbing the hippie, she put her on top of the bus, pinched her nose together, and closed the door.</p><p>The stench reached the other gangs and began to gag. “Oh God!”</p><p>”I can’t breath!”</p><p>”My eyes! My eyes!” They all crashed and stopped as the hippie’s smell was too much for them. Returning back to the bus, Russia was given an applause as the states thanked her for her quick thinking.</p><p>“Step mom! That was amazing!” Said Florida.</p><p>”How did you do it?” New York said.</p><p>”I saw that using gun wasn’t enough, why not use chemical warfare?”</p><p>”And that was for two days of no showers.” Vermont joked.</p><p>”Yeah that great guys but...” America stated as the bus stopped on the other side of the highway. “We are out of gas.” Near a park, the family surveyed the damage done to the bus. “Those bullets must’ve hit the gas pipe.” America said. “Man are we lucky that is didn’t explode?” He joked, no one laugh.</p><p>”This all your fault Alaska!” Oregon pointed at the Alaskan.</p><p>”What me?!”</p><p>”Yes! Your cruel words must’ve angered those people, causing them to almost kill!”</p><p>”I didn’t say shit to them!”</p><p>”Please, you’re isolated from decent folks like us, making you less educated than most people.”</p><p>”And I’m suppose to take it from you?! Half your state wants to be joined with Idaho because of your policies!”</p><p>”Stop it.” Alexander said.</p><p>“Much better then the inbreeding, mountain living, hillbillies!”</p><p>”My hillbillies are more sophisticated and more educated than that governor of your. And your city is a pile of garbage!” Oregon punched Alaska in the face, everyone was silent, Alaska  wiped the blood from his nose, and headbutt the man. Pretty soon, it was civil war 2.0. </p><p>Every state was attacking each other Cali was hitting Florida, Maine was punching Wyoming, Texas was t-posing on New York. Alexander try to stop them but it was useless. “Ssstop! S-stop it now! Ss-top!” Teras began to fall as no one heard him. </p><p>“ ‘Xander?” Anya called out to him. Alexander ran to the forest as he kept crying. “Xander! Wait!”</p><p>”Anya!” America called. His son and wife were both gone, his states were still fighting, and his bus was ruined. His smiling demeanor cracked. “WILL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SHUT THE HELL UP!?” The fighting stop, everyone turned to there now angry father. “One day, just one Fucking day, where you guys don’t try to kill each other?!”</p><p>”But he-“ California try to speak but America yelled. </p><p>“I don’t give a shit! They are your brothers and sisters! You do not act like you are better than them! You show them the same type of respect that they deserve. They are family, not stupid, not ugly, nor poor. You should be ashamed of calling them pathetic.” California started to cry.</p><p>”And you!” He pointed at Ohio. “You do not call them a terrible state. They have have problems, but so do the rest of you! And when they have problems, you help them out! Not berate them!” Ohio tried his best not to cry. “I just wanted this to be the best road trip yet! Like on the movies, but I see that is a lie!” The man himself had tears fall from his eyes. “And want to know who got it worse out of all of you? Mars! That boy was forced to listen to three days worth of your shit on blast!”</p><p>”W-wait!” Utah nervously said. “Where is ‘Xander?”</p><p>”He’s in the woods, having a fucking meltdown! Anya went after him, but I want all of you to come with me and apologize!” The American, along with his states, went into the same trip Alexander went through. All of them were feeling guilty and get terrible for letting their anger get the best of them.</p>
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